I penned my Wall Street Journal bestseller, "Buy This, Not That," to help folks dodge regret by making smarter choices. Regret is a real downer, especially when it’s avoidable with a bit of knowledge. The best way to dodge the "if only I knew then" regret is to learn from someone who’s been there, done that. But it’s not just about learning from anyone; it’s about learning from someone who’s not afraid to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.
We often sugarcoat our past mistakes to feel better, but that’s not helpful. If we hide the truth, we’re robbing others of the chance to learn from our experiences. And without the truth, you might make less-than-ideal decisions, leading to more regret!
So, if you catch me only talking about the good stuff, give me a reality check. I’m a natural optimist, always looking for the silver lining.
Every year, I suggest you do a regret minimization exercise. It could be at the start, middle, or end of the year. Imagine you’re 30 years older and ask yourself what you’d regret not doing. This exercise helps you identify what you want to do but are too scared to act on. It should cover four main areas: health, wealth, career, and family and friends.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer since we all have different goals. But this exercise can help you figure out what’s important to you, so you don’t wake up one day wishing you had acted sooner.
As we age, we accumulate more regrets. But the silver lining is that we learn from these regrets and make better choices in the future. So, old regrets don’t usually repeat themselves.
Let’s dive into each of the four main categories. Reflect on your current situation and ask yourself what you’d regret not doing in the future.
Health is a big one. It takes years of unhealthy habits before your body gives up. If you don’t take care of your health, you might cut your life short or, at the very least, lower your quality of life. Learn from those who’ve paid the price for their unhealthy habits and take action now to avoid ending up like them.
Wealth is another crucial area. We quickly realize how a lack of income can limit our lifestyle. But what’s not so obvious is how a lack of income, savings, and investments can lead to a restricted retirement. Save and invest now because there will come a time when you won’t want to or be able to work.
Next up is your career. Will you regret spending your life in your current job? Make sure your job brings you joy and meaning. If you’re working just for the money, you’ll likely regret it.
Lastly, family and friends. If you neglect your relationships, you’ll probably regret it later. Stay in touch with your loved ones, support them, and make amends before it’s too late. Also, decide whether you want a family of your own. Will you regret not having anyone to carry on your legacy? Only you can answer that.
Regret comes in different forms. You might regret something you did in the past with the knowledge you have now. Or you might regret not living different lives. You might regret rushing into a decision or dragging it out. You might regret ignoring your instincts or sabotaging yourself to avoid feeling another emotion.
The goal is to minimize regret as much as possible. You can’t avoid it entirely, but you can make informed decisions and try your best. And remember, you’ll likely regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. So, once you’ve made a decision, go for it with all your might. But also be humble enough to know that you might get it wrong sometimes. As long as your decision isn’t catastrophic, you’ll learn from your mistakes and make better choices in the future.
