I penned my Wall Street Journal bestseller, "Buy This, Not That," to help folks dodge the bullet of regret by making smarter choices. Regret is a nasty feeling, especially when it’s something you could have avoided if you knew better. The best way to dodge the "If only I knew then what I know now" bullet is to learn from someone who’s been there, done that. But it’s not just about learning from anyone; it’s about learning from someone who’s not afraid to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.
We often sugarcoat our past mistakes to make ourselves feel better, but in doing so, we rob others of the chance to learn from our experiences. If you don’t know the whole truth, you might end up making less-than-ideal decisions, leading to more regret. So, if you ever catch me painting a rosy picture of everything, give me a reality check. As an eternal optimist, I tend to focus on the positives.
Every year, I suggest you do a regret minimization exercise. It could be at the start, middle, or end of the year. Imagine you’re thirty years older and ask yourself what you’d regret not doing. The aim is to identify the things you want to do or should try but are too scared to act on. Your regret minimization exercise should cover at least four main areas: Health, Wealth, Career, and Family and Friends. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer since we all have different goals. But this exercise can help you figure out what’s important to you so you don’t wake up one day wishing you had acted sooner.
As we age, we accumulate more regrets. But the silver lining is that we learn from these regrets and make better choices in the future, so we don’t repeat the same mistakes. Let’s delve into each of the four main areas. Reflect on your current situation and ask yourself what you’d regret not doing in the future.
Health is a big one. It takes years of unhealthy eating, lack of exercise, and mental stress before your body gives out. If you neglect your health too much, you might cut your life short or, at the very least, lower your quality of life in the future. Your goal should be to learn from those who’ve made unhealthy choices and are now paying the price. If you do, you might take action now to avoid ending up like them in the future. Listen to your body to protect it from further harm. Unhealthy habits have a sneaky way of creeping up on you.
Wealth is another crucial area. We quickly realize how a lack of income can cramp our lifestyle. But what’s not so obvious is how a lack of income, savings, and investments can lead to a constrained retirement in the future. When we’re young, we feel invincible and think tomorrow will never come. But it does. You need to save and invest today because there will come a time when you won’t want to or be able to work.
Your career is another area to consider. Will you regret spending your life in your current career? Make sure your job brings meaning to you. If you spend your entire life working just for the money, you’ll regret it. Consider retiring by a certain age to do something else, not just after achieving a certain financial figure. That something else could be taking a break, traveling, raising children, starting a business, and more!
Family should always come first. If you neglect your family relationships, you’ll likely regret it later on. Keep in touch with family members, support their endeavors, and make amends before it’s too late. You also need to decide whether you want a family of your own or not. It’s a personal choice whether or not to have kids. Ask yourself, in thirty years, will you have enough friends and relatives to depend on? Will you regret not having anyone to carry on your legacy? Only you can decide.
There are different types of regrets, such as hindsight regrets, alternative-self regrets, rushing-in regrets, dragging-out regrets, ignoring-your-instincts regrets, and self-sabotage regrets. As a Financial Samurai, you’re analytical, logical, methodical, confident, and courageous. That’s what happens when you empower yourself with knowledge and hear different perspectives. So hopefully, you’ll only experience the first two types of regrets. But if you experience the other types, then more work needs to be done to change your future behavior.
Let’s accept that living a life of no regrets is impossible. We can’t possibly foresee every outcome. But what we can do is research thoroughly before making any big decision. Part of this research includes listening to perspectives from people who’ve been where you plan to go. If you give it your all before making a decision, it will help minimize the negative feeling when things don’t turn out well. When there’s nothing more you could have done, it’s hard to feel as bad.
Finally, I firmly believe you’ll regret more of the things you don’t do than the things you try. The fear in your head is almost always worse than reality. Harness fear, the main ingredient necessary to achieve financial independence. If you do, you’ll do everything it takes to get there. Once you’ve decided you’re making the right choice, go for it with 100% certainty! At the same time, be humble and aware enough to know that 30% of the time, you’re going to get it wrong. Unless your decision is catastrophic, you’ll learn from your errors and make better choices going forward.
